To My Beloved

Belinda,

It's been a hard road, hasn't it, honey? But, you know I will walk with you every step down this path of life. In sickness, and in health, pain or no pain; whatever troubles our family may face. You have always been there for me. Now, it's only fair that I be there for you in your time of need.

I do remember the pain free times, like that time we spent down in New Orleans just before your good surgery. I will never forget those few days. We hit all the wonderful restaurants: NOLA, K-Paul's, the Cafe Du Monde, Gumbo Shop, Central Grocery, and all the little N.O. musts. I do believe that it was on that trip that I became positive that I wanted to be with you forever. Even if the disease that was killing you might just cut that time short, or that we'd never have any children. I remember the walk in the French Market where I bought you a cheap little stone ring and before your surgery, and gave it to you as my promise that I would always be there, no matter the outcome. I remember these times just as I remember the times you hurt so bad you couldn't get out of bed for what seemed like weeks on end, because the pain was so severe. I want you to know that there was always a constant, I loved you. I stood by you then, and of course I will stand by you now.

We have seen some real doozies of some doctors, haven't we, darling? I think the greatest incompetency, and then proof of God's miracles, was when one doctor told us that it was not only not likely, but there was just no hope of having children. With one sputtering ovary and a bleak outlook, we beat those odds then, didn't we? God smiled on us then when he gave us Isabella, and he will soon smile on us again soon when he heals you from this misery. He gave us the greatest gift I could have ever asked for. A child that looks so much like me and has all your wit, intelligence and sweetness. Sweetheart, I know how much you love me, and you have given me my only known blood relative. I mean, out there somewhere, I know I might have a brother or sister, or even a mother or father. But it was you that made me a daddy. Being a daddy and your husband, my sweet, I have found, is all I have ever wanted to be.

Your pain will be over soon, my sweet. It will be over soon.

Our lives 'til this point have not been easy. God knows, you have had to deal with my health problems, and me being well.....generally crazy at times. And you have done so with the patience of a saint. I think you know what I mean when I say that you saved me. Belinda, you saved my life in so many ways. I could never repay you. I owe you so much.

Your surgery is coming, and I know it seems so far away. But, we can make it, together. I will help you. And afterwards you know I will do whatever it takes to help you comfortably heal. I am having chocolate trucked in, already practicing making your favorite chicken and dumplings and I have Ben and Jerry on speed-dial.

We still have a long road to travel. We have a life to live together.

We will find a way, Belinda. And this time, it will be, hopefully, pain-free.